Honestly? What's keeping you from getting out into the world. Don't say your dad, or money.. but why haven't you changed the things you can?
Cuz i have no one to go out and do that with. Im not a shroom hidding in his room im active i just don’t get out with People my age much any more. Most of everyone i know these days are drinking going to bars smoking the reefer partying. I don’t do that : / I’d rather go to movies, Go to dinners with friends laugh go fishing go to concerts. So No money isnt the issue nor is my dad.
I’m a changed guy. Since i was me i’ve always been the underdog. I sucked in school i had really no “talent” other then playing video games. Which you can see how far that has gotten me and threw they last 3-4 years i’ve hardend alot. The down side to being hard and cold and numbing yourself out is you lose track of time days become weeks, weeks become months and so on and so fourth. I feel like the last year i’ve been trying to shock my pulse back into existence. But its so hard. I have so much emotion and feel so much but its fucking dug so deep in me i can’t get to it let it out its bottled. Tonight i feel like a crack was made seeing scott piligrim Vs the world as stupid and corney it sounds the movie really touched me. I just i dont know it just that movie makes sense to me its what i wish the world was like ha not the real truth i’ve come to see day in and day out watching my own pain and others. That movie was simple and happy granted there were struggles in the movie but it was happy. I’m not very happy i’m regreatfull i envoy people i have hate. I dont know how to change it. I’m losing it. The promise i made its getting harder to keep every day its an on going struggle to not let go and just float away. Maybe thats what i’m spose to do. But deep down that dosen’t feel right to me. I don’t want to let go. I want control over it. Life its so fucking crazy. I love it even though im sad as shit right now and i’m on a pitty pot i’m over joyed with life and how hard it is. Makes it fucking worth living. Ya know?
take my sweet ass time to type some shit im feeling and bloop dead
(what i was typing Tonight was boring -.- then again most of my weeekend nights are like that i watched back to the future woot :3 i need a breath of inspiration in my life. Something to shock my heart back to life. I have no pulse it feels at this point, Just a walking talking robot boy)